Sunday, September 3, 2017

A Floor Too Far...

Well folks, I knew I was getting off easy by uncovering those beautiful floors under my horrible avocado green shag... apparently I shouldn't have pushed my luck.

I decided that I really needed to pull the horrible carpet in the bathroom. Partly because it was just horrible - really, who puts carpet in a bathroom? - and partly because one of the nests of carpet beetle larvae that I discovered was right at the bathroom doorway - and why would they stop at the doorway?


I didn't really feel up for a whole bathroom remodel. I didn't want to pull the toilet, or do major demolition... just wanted to get the carpet out of there. So I crafted a plan. I figured I'd just pull up the carpet to expose the ugly linoleum underneath, and then I'd cover that with a layer of cheap peel and stick vinyl flooring. Not a long term solution - but enough to give the room a small facelift and deal with the current problem.

And so I waded in. It only took an hour or two to get the carpet out, and here's what I found:


Alas, it was not just ugly, but also damaged beyond the point where my peel and stick solution was gonna work. But more seriously, I discovered that the toilet had been leaking for God knows how long. Soo.... out the window flew my "easy makeover" plans.

But I watched a few videos on pulling up linoleum and it didn't look too difficult...

And so, once again, I waded in. And... hmm...


None of the YouTube videos mentioned anything about tar paper! And the heat gun/iron/steamer removal method that looked so easy in the videos, only turned this flooring into a melted mess - which made removal much more difficult.

Turns out this floor was vinyl, not linoleum - which, I guess requires a different removal method. And the tar paper was used for waterproofing in older bathrooms. So after a few days of chiseling, scraping, grunting and cursing, I was left with this:


Gotta say, I was feeling pretty darned hopeless at this point. I scoured the interwebs with a new set of search terms, but everything I found showed people using steam or heat to remove this stuff. I don't know if I was dealing with a qualitatively different sort of tar paper or what, but heat just turned this stuff into... well, into tar - like roofing tar. I was lucky if I could get off one square inch at a time.

But then... then... I stumbled upon an unlikely savior! Late one night in a Googling frenzy I happened upon a video of a young woman in a similar situation, with a rather unorthodox solution. She took old towels laid them out on the floor, then saturated them with diet Coke and let it sit overnight. Then the tar paper just scraped off like butter!


It sounded sorta crazy, but it did trigger a memory from long ago. When I was in college I was on a work study program, and I spent my freshman year working in the cafeteria kitchen. One day while working on the cleanup crew, the fry cook handed me an empty pitcher and asked me to fill it with carbonated water from the soda machine. I couldn't quite figure out what she was gonna do with the stuff, and I was totally shocked when she dumped in on the griddle and the thick layer of grease just slid off! Turns out the carbonic acid in the carbonated water eats through grease.

Soo... perhaps the diet Coke woman wasn't crazy after all. And at this point, I really didn't have much to lose. I decided to use plain carbonated water instead of Coke, so I laid out my old towels, saturated them and let it sit... and sit... and sit...

It took 24 hours of soaking, and a razor blade floor scraper, but.... finally... success!


Whew!

But now what? Well, it turns out that vinyl peel and stick flooring isn't recommended for bathrooms unless you have an impervious layer like old vinyl or linoleum underneath it. So I've spent the last week or so doing extensive research on every flooring system on the market.

I seriously considered a next generation vinyl floating floor system - no glue, really easy to install, and waterproof, but there were just too many issues for me to want to go that way. First of all, it's vinyl... which means plastic. And while people are singing the praises of these systems, there are a few caveats to their use. You're not supposed to put them in rooms with a lot of direct sunlight - and this bathroom has a west facing window which bathes the room in sun all afternoon. The sunlight is problematic both because it heats the floor and causes expansion, and because it can cause discoloration. I have a friend who put white vinyl in her kitchen, and 2 years later she has a horrible yellow swath across the room from where the sunlight from the west facing window falls.

But more seriously, it really limits what you can do with the room going forward. Apparently you're not supposed to put permanent fixtures (like a vanity or pedestal sink) on top of this sort of flooring system, because the floor needs to be able to expand and contract with changes in heat and humidity. And since there's a real likelihood that the sink will need to be replaced sooner rather than later... well, I just didn't want to limit myself in that way.

So... ceramic tile it is! You know what they say... in for a penny, in for a pound!

And that's meant that I've had to immerse myself in researching underlayments, and tile, and mortar, and grout. Holy Moly! Who knew there were so many variables?

But after looking at quite literally thousands of different options, I've finally decided on a charcoal colored porcelain tile that gets rave reviews, should look great, and will leave many different doors open for whatever direction I decide to go with the rest of the room down the line.

And... the nice fellows at Lowes will cut the stuff for me as long as I can provide measurements!

So now I just have to work the puzzle and do a lot of math - oh... and pull the toilet... and then actually lay the tile... Oy! Wish me luck!

So tell me, have you ever gotten yourself in slightly over your head with a DIY home improvement project? I'd love to think I'm not the only one....



Tuesday, August 22, 2017

State of Confusion

Do you ever feel confused? Just confused in general?

I hate to admit this, but confusion is a bit of a life long affliction for me. Things that seem to be obvious to everyone else, just leave me perplexed. I've forever been told that the problem is that I don't pay close enough attention. So my whole life I've tried and tried and tried to pay closer attention, but honestly it's never really helped my confusion.


But today I had a bit of a revelation. It's sort of a long story, so bear with me...


OK, so yesterday was the solar eclipse - 92% here in Denver. I knew we wouldn't be seeing darkness, or the sun's corona, as you would if you were under the "path of totality" - but I had heard over and over that we would see crescent moon shaped shadows everywhere, and for this I was very excited.

I charged the battery on my camera, and I got all of my morning chores done early so I could be completely free for the entire time of the eclipse to witness the spectacular shadows.

And so I sat out on my front porch in the sun with my pinhole camera waiting for the shadows to appear. Once I could see the eclipse happening through the pinhole camera, I started to hold up random objects, waiting for them to cast moon shaped shadows. I tried everything I could think of - I held up my hand, held up my camera, held up rocks, and balls, and sticks, and leaves, and even the neighbor's cat.


I figured eventually something would cast one of those moon shaped shadows, but for all my trying, I got nothing.

See? Just leaves
So finally I gave up and decided to go pick some cucumbers in my garden. I guess I just figured I'd missed it... maybe it only happened at the height of the eclipse? Or maybe we weren't in the right place to see it? I was sorely disappointed though.

But today... today I hopped on the interwebs and discovered that several of my blogging buddies had posted pictures of these amazing crescent moon shadows... and suddenly it hit me.



It wasn't the shadows that were supposed to be moon shaped, it was the light between the shadows! Gah!! Why didn't all of the people on TV just say what they meant?

Then I had a funny feeling. I went and got my camera and looked at all of the pictures I'd shot during the eclipse. I did remember taking a few shots of some "funny light" on the back deck as I was heading out to pick the cucumbers... and sure enough:



Good GAWD!



Suddenly, a million other "moments of confusion" from throughout my life rushed through my mind.

I remembered my 9th grade science teacher trying in vain to explain to me how they could tell the distance of the moon using triangles and the Pythagorean theorem. She kept saying that all you need is three points and an angle... so you've got your location, and the moon, then you just pick another "known point" and you've got it.

Now, in my mind "your location" was the earth. So if you've got the earth as point one, and the moon as point two, then how can you possibly know the location of a third point, because wouldn't said third point also have to be an outer space object? So how could you know it's location without first having some other "known point" to find it? It's an infinite loop of sorts. I think that poor woman spent half an hour trying to explain this to me.


Finally it was my brother who explained that the mysterious third point could also be on the earth. WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST SAY THAT?!?!


And then there was the movie that CatMan and I watched last week.


I think we had to stop it 5 times because I got lost. Finally the big ending came and I totally did NOT understand. CatMan tried hopelessly to explain that xyz character had ended up with the money from the drug deal at the beginning.

"Drug deal?" I asked in perplexed confusion. "What drug deal?" It took me until the next day to realize that the entire plot revolved around this drug deal at the beginning of the movie which I totally missed because all I saw was something about a big suitcase and a key to an airport locker. If there was this big important drug deal that the whole plot revolved around, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY THERE WAS A DRUG DEAL? I guess it was supposed to be obvious... sigh.

And then there were all the posts on Facebook about Charlottesville, and what, if any blame should go to the "BLM people." Now... in my world "BLM" means the Bureau of Land Management - much of the forest land here in Colorado is BLM land.


Soo... I was confused about why the BLM had anything to do with Charlottesville. The best I could figure it had something to do with Cliven Bundy and his standoff with authorities over grazing rights on BLM land... but I didn't know they were in Charlottesville too. It took me several days of puzzling over nonsensical Facebook posts to realize that in this context BLM meant "Black Lives Matter."



Good lord! WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY WHAT THEY MEANT?!?

So. My revelation is this: My perpetual state of confusion has absolutely nothing to do with paying attention. My problem is that I fail to make the right assumptions about what people meant, as opposed to what they actually said!

Perhaps I just suffer from "literal brain" syndrome. Sorta like the character in my favorite childhood books, Amelia Bedelia. Now she was a person I could understand!


Well anyhow. I'm not sure what good my little revelation does me, but it is interesting.

In the meantime, the flowers in my front yard have finally bloomed.


Hard to get too confused about that!

Hope you all enjoyed the eclipse... whatever you saw in the shadows!!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Finally Gone!

Well folks, I did it! The avocado green shag is officially history! I'm "otterly" thrilled!


So... here's my living room before:


And after:


I must say, I can't really believe the difference. It feels like a whole new house. Sooo much cleaner, and the whole room feels bigger.

Here's the other half of the room - with a brand spankin' new area rug which I love, love, love!


But the green shag wasn't just in the main room, it was also in the attached room - which was originally a bedroom, but at some point the house was remodeled - I think they used it as a dining room, but I use it as my office.



And it was also in the hall:


Whew!!


Of course, the work is not yet done as there are still a few issues to address. When the house was remodeled a wall was removed, and where the wall was there isn't any flooring.

That funny looking leopard fur cigar thing is Smoky's favorite toy...

I still haven't quite decided what to do about it yet. I found a few pieces of pre-finished hardwood at the Habitat Store that are a pretty good color match, so I might use them... the other option would be to just get a big hunk of oak and stain it to match as closely as possible.

There's a similar issue in the doorway to the hall - I guess they decided the door wasn't wide enough, so there's a small area there that will also need to be patched.

But all that can be dealt with later. At the moment I'm just thrilled that the floor is in such good shape and that I finally got it done!!!

I did uncover a few nests of carpet beetle larvae in the process of yanking, so hopefully I've finally got them all. Haven't seen a beetle in a week or so... keeping my fingers crossed!

I'll probably get a few more area rugs, and I have to paint the molding... actually I should probably paint everything... well, one thing at a time.

Anyhow, Jasper was a little freaked out by the wood floor at first, but as you can see, he's decided it's OK.



So that's what's been keeping me busy! Hope you're all doin' well!