Monday, November 2, 2015

Who Has the Time?

I'm not sure if this comes through in my writing or not, but I've got a bit of a slob complex. Neatness is just not "my thing" and it's been a sore spot my entire life.


It just always seems like keeping things tidy and making things look nice is effortless for other people, while for me it's more like pulling teeth. Generally I feel like I'm doing pretty well if I can keep the house to a level where it's not a health or safety hazard!

So when I come across things on the interwebs having to do with the whole general topic of home decoration and interior design, I tend to get a little bit defensive.


I see gorgeous pictures of rooms that people have remodeled, or furniture that has been beautifully refinished or painted, and some part of me always thinks "Well, I'd love to have a home that looked like that, but how on earth do these people have enough time to care about stuff like that?"

I had one such moment today, and after grumbling for a few minutes about how nice it must be to have so much time on your hands that you have nothing else to worry about other than the color of your walls, I had a thought:

"Exactly how much time would I need to have on my hands before the color of my walls rose to the top of my priority list? A day? A week? A month? Several months? A year? A lifetime?"


You know, when I thought about it that way, the whole equation began to shift in my mind. Because honestly, I'd have to be bored out of my mind for an inconceivably long period of time before making my home look pretty would start to seem like an enjoyable way to pass the time.


Hmmm... perhaps what this all boils down to is simply a matter of priorities. I'm not sure why, but this thought was an incredible revelation for me.

Could it really be that simple? Is it actually possible that my lack of tidiness and home decoration is not really evidence of laziness or hopeless inadequacy? Could it simply be that it's just not very important to me?


The more I thought about this, the more incredible the idea became. I mean, I'm sure that there are people who look at my life and think "How on earth does she have time to ride her bike for nearly 100 miles per week, and walk to the grocery store, and do yoga, and lift weights, and garden, and hang the laundry out to dry?"

But the thing is... when I think of riding my bike or doing yoga or gardening, or pretty much anything that involves either physical activity or being outside, I don't think of it as something that "takes time" - I think of it as a fun thing that I can hardly wait to get to do!


So maybe... just maybe, the people who have those beautiful homes, who excel at decorating and making everything look nice and pretty... maybe it doesn't feel like oppressive work to them, because maybe they actually ENJOY that stuff!

Is that possible? Could anyone really look forward to painting a room, or hanging Christmas decorations, or choosing accent pillows with the same excitement that I feel in anticipation of a long bike ride?


I think this whole topic brings up an interesting and unhealthy tendency that I have. I tend to devalue things that I enjoy and find easy, while at the same time I assign disproportionate importance to things that I don't have an affinity for - as if anything that I hate to do must be noble and worthy, and anything I enjoy is just "wasting time."

So maybe I need to re-evaluate my messy tendencies and instead of seeing them as some sort of shortcoming, embrace them as evidence that my priorities simply lie elsewhere.


Anyhow, I was mulling this all over this afternoon while I was futzing in my front yard pulling some weeds - which was really just an excuse to be outside enjoying the beautiful weather instead of vacuuming the carpet, which is what I felt that I really "should" be doing.

So when the mail man came by and said hello, I made some off the cuff remark about the size of the weeds and how perhaps I should have tackled the job sooner. He smiled, shrugged and said,"Yes, but who has the time?"

Ha! Who has the time, indeed!

So tell me... am I the only person who suffers from this tendency to devalue things that come easy? Are you able to honor your personal priorities, or do you beat up on yourself for not being "good enough?" I'd love to know what kind of things make you think think: "how do they possibly have time for that?"




46 comments :

  1. Interesting! I am generally quite tidy, because clutter makes me all twitchy (I was messy as a child/teenager, but had a big tidy up and clear out at some point and realised I preferred it tidy). I don't find it takes that much time day to day, as I pick up things as I go.
    I repainted most of the house last winter with my mum- it was satisfying to get it done, but I was quite bored of it by the end, so I won't be changing the whole colour scheme (ever!!) just redoing bits that look tatty.

    I have a lot of 'I should be doing that' guilt- cars should be cleaner, garden should be neat and pretty...etc etc! I suppose they might be if I didn't run/walk/work/knit...
    I think a mindset change to 'it's not a priority' rather than 'I'm too lazy/disorganised to do it' would be helpful for me!

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    1. Well, if it makes you feel any better, my car is 25 years old and it's never been washed... ever! Isn't that what rain is for? :-)

      Anyhow, you make a really good point about rewards - tidying up is rewarding for you even if the activity itself isn't that much fun. I think that's how I feel about climbing hills on my bike. I don't much like the leg burn getting there, but the view from the top is totally worth it!

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  2. Thinking about all these glossy pics in magazines and online I do remind myself quite often that there is a huge pile of clutter out of shot that has been shifted just for that photograph...almost no-one really lives like this, at least not when they have kids, pets and a husband messing up everything as soon as it was cleaned/tidied. Yeah, I know I "should", but as long as they undo it all there doesn't seem to be much point. ♥nic

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    1. Ha! Well that's a good point too... those pictures aren't reality, they're just staged for our "benefit"!

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  3. Part of my decorating problem is that I don't envision change very well. So figuring out what might look better or even what my style is requires a lot of effort and confusion. This happens even with the magazine pictures. Would that work in my space is often hard for me to answer. I think many people who have the up to date, nice homes, have a natural knack for making things look nice. It's not so much a chore for them even the boring parts like taping for painting. The result they envision is worth it.

    Now cooking, that's another story for me. I know how to cook, bake, etc. I'm just not interested in it. I'd also rather be outside. Most people I know, both in real life and in blog land, who cook and eat more interesting (and cheaper) things than I do, admit they like to spend time in the kitchen. They may not like some of the tedious parts or cooking when they're tired, but they do enjoy the overall process. I know several people who cook to relax and to get their creative juices flowing. As you know, I struggle with this lack of enthusiasm for cooking. Actually, I'm not that big of an adventurous eater either. Going out to a nice restaurant is never on the top of my list of things to do.

    So you've hit the nail on the head, there are different people with different interests and each does what they need to to get by in some areas and focus their efforts in other areas they enjoy.

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    1. I can't help wondering--would you enjoy cooking outside? You can barbecue, churn the ice cream maker, have a solar oven (or make a charcoal oven out of a cardboard box, aluminum foil, a wire clothes hanger and a pie tin for the charcoal). I actually learned to cook outside, while camping with Girl Scouts.

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    2. Well... Live & Learn you're WAY ahead of me in terms of the decorating thing. I don't think I've ever really thought about what would or wouldn't look good in my home. OK, not entirely true, I've thought about my kitchen and bathroom... but it's more along the lines of "what would be less horrible?" rather than "what would look really good?"

      Anyhow, I'm mixed on cooking. I think that it totally depends on the circumstances. If I'm hungry and just want to eat, cooking is a chore. But if I have the time to prepare food when it's not essential... like preparing it in advance I really enjoy it.

      And Debbie... you brought back all sorts of Girl Scouts memories for me! Did you ever bake cakes inside of orange peels? Or make stuffed baked potatoes by wrapping them in foil and putting them in the coals of the fire? Fun stuff!

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    3. Debbie, you're bringing back all kinds of Girl Scout cooking memories for me also. I do like some cooking outside more for the experimental part of it than the actual cooking. (I spent a whole summer trying to fry an egg on the sidewalk.) My husband does a lot of different outdoor cooking--dutch oven, grilling, smoking, roasting, etc. It's interesting, but I'm not drawn to it.

      Let's just say that I don't hate cooking, I just consider it another necessary chore. If you're gonna eat, you're gonna do some cooking.

      Now back to GS cooking. I don't remember baking a cake in an orange peel, but we did put a peppermint stick into an orange to use as a straw and suck out the juice. That was really good.

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    4. I also did not bake cakes inside orange peels and only made regular, unstuffed baked potatoes by wrapping them in foil and tossing them in the fire. (Also good: chicken and dried fruit wrapped together and tossed into the fire.) I also had "singing oranges" (peppermint stick in an orange). (Listening to what little kids say when they try to make it work is funny if you imagine the quotes being X-rated.)

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    5. OK... I don't remember the peppermint stick orange thing. Stupid question though... how do you suck anything through a solid peppermint stick? Or is it a special hollow one?

      Anyhow, the other girl scout cooking thing that I remember fondly was the time we all were asked to bring a can of soup - then we made two giant pots of soup... all the "red ones" (tomato based) got mixed together in one pot, and all the "white ones" (chicken or cream based) went into the other one. I was so shocked that it actually worked and nothing terrible happened when you mixed all of those soups together! I think that was the beginning of my love for "doctoring" in the kitchen.

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    6. There are special hollow ones. Apparently in the olden days they were all hollow. No, I do not know how to get these!

      Yea for learning about "doctoring." A very useful skill!

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    7. OK... so I'm starting to see what you mean about the x-rated comments, because everything that I've tried to write about the hollow peppermint sticks has come out decidedly... um... well, not exactly as I intended! Anyhow, it's good to know they're out there! :-)

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  4. Argh, you just pinched my blog post! Seriously, I've had an idea turning over in my head for a few weeks for a post about time, and the idea that "I don't have time" actually means "Other things are a higher priority for me," was a central theme. This revelation hit me a few weeks ago. I guess it's been traveling west, and took a little while to reach you ;-)

    (I'm assuming you're way more efficient than me at getting your blog posts written, and don't have ideas hanging around for weeks before they reach the screen. I'm not quite sure why I assume that, come to think of it.)

    I was also trying to link it to the clocks changing - your previous post (yup, you pinched that one too) - and a short story I read recently called "Gnomon" by Jeanette Winterson (only read it if you have a strong stomach), and a half remembered documentary I saw a while ago about the development of clocks, which I'd have to look up. Uh, yeah, that's why the post isn't written yet!

    As for tidiness and decorating, I find both positive and negative motivation, though neither very strong. When things get really messy, it does eventually start to get unpleasant for me, which can be enough to push me into doing something about it. This can be a cumulative thing, too, as one year of torn wallpaper is quite tolerable - I hardly notice - but after looking at it for four or five years, it starts to get me down.

    This negative motivation is a double-edged sword, because it can just make me feel bad about myself instead of nudging me into taking action.

    The positive motivation comes from imagining how nice the room will be when I've done the job. I'm quite good at visualizing, so I can hold a picture in my mind of what I'm aiming for and this is pretty effective at encouraging me to do the job.

    It's not very effective, though, because I don't care that much for prettiness. I have to really focus on how lovely it will look when it's finished. Christmas helps, because I really do like having a cozy, decorated house at Christmas. Also, when I was growing up, my family always did jobs in a last minute rush to get them done 'by Christmas'.

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    1. Ha! Well apparently I seem to be plugged into your brain stealing your ideas! :-)

      I can't wait to read your post though... especially the parts about the development of clocks and how that plays into it all.

      But I think I'm like you in terms of the cumulative part. I have a pretty big tolerance for mess, but there comes a point when it starts to make me crazy and then I get motivated to do something about it. But keeping up with it on a day to day basis... just not gonna happen!

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  5. I totally understand--and I think I've been wondering how YOU have time for 100-mile bike rides! But I've realized it already in myself--I read about 1 book every other day on average throughout the year (from kids books to 500+ adult tomes). How do I have the time to read that much? Because I love doing it, so I read in the morning, while eating, after dinner....whenever I can! So I keep my house simple (and clean, so that it takes less time to clean it up), I don't have many outside commitments, and don't make elaborate meals (since I don't like cooking).

    It's definitely all about priorities and what YOU enjoy doing.

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    1. OK... well first of all, full disclosure, that 100 miles per week is in 2-3 separate rides. I don''t think I've ever ridden much further than 50 miles in one ride. But I totally can't imagine reading that much... I think perhaps you read more in one year than I have read in my entire lifetime! So yeah... different priorities! :-)

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  6. When I see gorgeous pictures of rooms that people have remodeled, I think, "But where's all your stuff? And the people?" And sometimes the answer is that it is hidden elsewhere for the photo shoot (as Nic says).

    But to answer your question--it's actually quite common for people not to even realize they have strengths because they don't realize that some of the things that are easy for them are not easy for everyone!

    As far as clutter goes--it's super easy for me to keep my kitchen clean. There's a place for everything, and a good place for commonly used things. After cooking, I do dishes and clean the counters. (Okay, mopping and cleaning out the fridge are not priorities!)

    I'm still working out what I can get rid of and how to have good places for everything in the rest of the house. I really like having everything neat and pretty, but I'm also really good at just having tunnel vision and ignoring whatever I don't need right then and I don't like putting things up when I'm in the middle of a project. Like studying Spanish (for four semesters).

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    1. Oh, I wish I had the clean kitchen gene. I just always feel like there's no place to put anything! It would really help if I could get it together to empty the dishwasher as soon as the dishes are done instead of putting it off - because then there's no place to put the dirty ones! Oh well... maybe some day I'll come up with a better system!

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  7. I love tidying and decorating but I don't do it as much as I would like because husband and two sons always throw the cushions around the room/put their smelly feet on them, and any changes have to be discussed with husband and I just don't have the patience for the lengthy debate! So I go to the gym or go walking instead.

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    1. OK... I'm totally laughing at the idea that having the cushions tossed about qualifies as "messy" in your mind! I feel like I'm doing well if the clothes make it into the bedroom, the shoes in the closet, the junk mail in the garbage... yadda, yadda, yadda! :-)

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  8. I came to a similar realization a couple of years ago. My SIL was telling me how I could keep my new stainless steel sink (after our kitchen reno) looking lovely by wiping it down with oil. My thought was, that would last maybe 30 minutes around here, because I'd be in the kitchen cooking or baking. I might add--I'm by far the better baker, and her home always looks like it is ready for a real estate showing. And then the epiphany ... I like to bake; I don't hate cleaning, but I don't love it, either. I'm pretty sure my SIL feels the opposite way. Neither is right or wrong--we all just need to work on not feeling inferior to others, but rather to enjoy each other's giftedness and be at peace with who we are.

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    1. OK... I just found this comment that Blogger somehow marked as spam... pretty sure you've forgotten about it by now, but I really love your epiphany: you love to bake, your SIL loves to clean. To each his own! (or her own as the case may be.)

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  9. The internet swallowed my comments for you and for Lili. Or I wrote them in a dream state. :) Anyway, I think you are spot-on about how we pursue what interests us the most. When we did our kitchen renovation a couple of years ago, my super-tidy SIL suggested that I keep my new stainless steel sink looking nice by rubbing it down with a thin coat of oil. I smiled and nodded and thought, what the heck??? That might last, oh, maybe an hour ... because I cook and bake a lot in my kitchen. I don't mind cleaning and keep a relatively tidy home, but given the choice between baking cookies and wiping my sink down with oil to give it that lustrous shine, the cookies are gonna win every time. For me, baking is fun ... cleaning is a necessary evil. Taking a nap on Sunday afternoon, though, trumps both activities.

    I think you hit on another important point--we tend to compare ourselves and find ourselves lacking, instead of looking at what we love to do and do well. You can design and put up a fabulous hail house for your garden--do you know how rare that kind of a skill is? Give yourself some credit and remember, those decorator-guru types probably don't even have a garden in the first place, much less a way to protect it from the hail. (speaking of which, one of my favorite blogs is thistlewoodfarms.com--KariAnne can DIY and decorate like nobody's business but she fully admits to being fairly awful in the kitchen).

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    1. Oh my... don't EVEN get me started about non-cooks and their "trophy kitchens." Somehow it seems like there should be some sort of a rule that you don't get to have a schmancy kitchen if you're not actually gonna cook in it! Reminds me of a chat I had with my neighbor once - she was proudly telling me how she'd had all of the kitchen appliances replaced... not because there was anything wrong with them, but because they were all 10 years old - the horror! Anyhow, she was going on and on about this wonderful convection oven. So I asked her if she could tell the difference from the regular oven - to which she replied "Oh, I haven't actually used it. I don't really cook." WHAAAAT?!? I bit my tongue and just smiled and nodded but I just couldn't believe it!

      Anyhow, you are so kind to compare my hail house to home decorating skills. I think you're totally right though... when it seems easy it's to us, we tend to downplay it. I guess for me I'm just about function over form and it's really hard for me to get motivated for anything that's "just for pretty." I'll have to go check out thistlwood farms now! :-)

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    2. Well, somehow Thistlewood Farms doesn't irritate me on the "trophy kitchen" aspect, probably because she and her hubby did the majority of the work themselves--I am in awe of her brilliant creativity. But most of the time, I am soooooooooooo with you on the trophy kitchen theme--I love that term, BTW--my observation is that the best food is cooked in the humblest of spaces. That being said ... I do think my kitchen is quite pretty now, but definitely small, but the lighter/brighter space makes me happier, especially during our very gray winters here. My previous dark cabinetry and chipped countertops did not make for an enjoyable workspace, and I am in my kitchen quite a lot. Oh, and I am enjoying my Bosch ... my biggest complaint is that it is hard to fit in lunch containers, and with 4 of us, we use many--but it cleans like a dream and I loooooove how quiet it is.

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    3. I was mostly referring to your SIL with the "trophy kitchen" comment because that thin coating of oil wouldn't last more than an hour or two in a kitchen that really gets used! :-)

      Anyhow, the earth must have shifted on its axis this morning, because I actually got motivated to clear the clutter from all of the kitchen counters! Actually, I think what happened is that I harvested the remaining cucumbers and tomatoes in anticipation of the coming snow, and promptly got overwhelmed! It's like - I need to do something with all this produce, but I can't do anything with all this produce because it's taking up all of my counter space so there isn't room to do anything with it!

      So now my dining room table is completely covered with boxes of produce... but at least I have my kitchen cleared enough to work! I think my afternoon will be filled with making pickles, green tomato chutney & roasted red tomatoes w/garlic.

      I'm glad you're enjoying the Bosch - I've actually gotten much better at fitting stuff into mine - I discovered that one of the sticky-uppy things on the top rack (what the heck to you call those things?) anyhow, one can actually be folded down to fit bulkier stuff in - plus I've discovered that stuff which had to be loaded face down in my previous machines gets nice and clean if I load it sideways in this one - so that made it easier. I think I read somewhere that you can order different racks if the default ones aren't working for you - so that might be an option too. Anyhow, having a quiet dishwasher is WONDERFUL, isn't it?

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    4. I have the fold-down tines but haven't used them yet. Learning to load my Bosch is a work in progress, but I'm getting better. There is very little room between the dinner plates but I have found they get really clean.

      I have tried to keep my countertops less cluttered so I have more work space--but it's such a handy spot for kids to dump their stuff when they get home from school. Our table gets de-cluttered when we have company and need a place to seat everyone. :)

      Thank you for doing a virtual eye-roll with me about oiling my sink. My SIL does do a little cooking, so I can't completely pick on her, but I'm more concerned that I try to clean my sink periodically than with making it pretty.

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    5. "Tines!" I knew there had to be a word for those things!

      Anyhow, if it weren't for dinner & movie night each week with CatMan, I doubt I'd ever see my table! I just have never figured out how to stem the tide of random stuff that just seems to accumulate. Sigh.

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  10. I share your lack of energy for decorating, but I would like our place to be less cluttered and better organized, and I do get some pleasure out of those tasks (or at least the result!), but definitely feel a lack of time lately, which puts me more at the "as long as it's not a health/safety hazard" point.

    The time balance has been on my mind a these past several weeks. I'm back in school (9-10 credit hours/semester) and working part time, plus household/family stuff, and I feel like something's got to give! (I'm leaning toward the job . . . .)

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    1. Oy! Sounds like you're swamped! I think any one of the above (school, job, child) would be enough to push me over the edge.

      At the moment I'm just trying to identify the stuff that makes me the craziest and start there. I figure if I can invest my time in something that will make my life easier, then eventually there ought to be some sort of cumulative effect... at least that's what I'm telling myself! :-)

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  11. I (and my messy house) are right there with you. I've also noticed that I don't allow myself to instigate things I deem "luxuries"...so I sort of devalue my own personal enjoyment. I'll plan/go to a business meeting without guilt, but a fun night out with the girls seems a luxury I can barely afford to squeeze in.

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    1. Ha! I'm totally with you there too. For me it's not so much business meetings vs. social, but cats vs. everything else. I've had a list of errands I've needed/wanted to run forever - but they just seemed like too much work, or like a waste of gas or something. But the instant there's a family of feral cats in my yard, I'm running all over town buying stuff to make houses for them and thinking nothing of it, because, you know, this is IMPORTANT! I guess it's all a matter of perspective. :-)

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  12. I (and my messy house) are right there with you. I've also noticed that I don't allow myself to instigate things I deem "luxuries"...so I sort of devalue my own personal enjoyment. I'll plan/go to a business meeting without guilt, but a fun night out with the girls seems a luxury I can barely afford to squeeze in.

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    1. And apparently Blogger liked your comment so much that it decided to publish it twice. So who am I to argue? :-)

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  13. I have never pictured you as a slob and don't think I ever will, no matter what you say. :-)

    The way I see it we all have things we find more interesting than others. For me I will gladly do any amount of work outdoors before tackling the indoor chores. I wish I could still do the physical things I used to be able to do. While I could never ride a bike (balance issues) I went hiking and for long walks. Even after I had a car I would park it and go for walks. I'd walk to the store or to a friends house rather than drive just because I liked moving and I guess to be honest I grew up being told I wouldn't be able to do those things for long so I wanted to do them as often and for as long as I could.

    That said, I have this huge need to be creative. My first career was as a hairdresser who specialized in specialty and corrective coloring because it fulfilled my need to create.

    As for my home. I love to paint walls (as you know) or restore furniture. This replaces the creativity I can't get in other ways. But here's a secret you may not have picked up on in my writing. I love to design the look and make it happen yet I hate the daily chores of maintaining a perfectly clean house.

    I never had that domestic gene. It's like the dishes. I don't mind washing dishes, once I start, but I will procrastinate because it's one of those jobs that never ends. There will always be more dirty dishes to wash. If I could go through my house and clean it to perfection and know it would stay that way I would be okay with it. But the dust will return, the floors need swept, and for me that's dull drudgery work. It's repetitive and boring. Painting a wall or a piece of furniture is new, there is an excitement to seeing the new look and I can walk away from it at any point or know there is an end to the job. There is no maintenance to painting he walls or furniture like there is with dusting and dishes.

    Now, that said, I can't stand to let guests in my home if it's messy. I had it pounded into me growing up that a home must be neat and tidy at all times. So the messes in the house, they get hidden in my bedroom. That's where the piles of projects reside, the stack of books being read, and so on.

    Oh and I'm so strange that if you give me the option of sweeping the kitchen floor or the deck which is double in size, I'll choose the larger job just because I can do it outside. I have to make myself sweep the kitchen floor but think nothing of grabbing the broom and sweeping the deck regularly.

    What I can't understand is how any one could enjoy setting up perfectly arranged tablescapes, or layering the perfect blankets and pillows on the furniture. Those things are a waste of my time. What blankets are pulled out for winter do get folded and draped over the couch or chairs but it's just with the intent to keep the place straightened enough not to be embarrassed if company arrived not for decoration purposes.

    So what do you think? Can you explain my tendencies away?

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    1. First of all, I totally LOVE your description of household chores as never done. YES!!! I finally made myself vacuum today and then I went out to feed the cats. I came back in and (despite my best efforts to wipe my feet) tracked a bunch of those tiny honey locust leaves all over it again. AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

      I think in some ways we must have had opposite upbringings in terms of neatness. My mother was a terrible slob, and it was a big source of embarrassment for me. In fairness, she was a single working mother and my friends all had stay at home moms who had plenty of time to deal with things like keeping the place tidy, but still... some of her tendencies crossed the line into hoarding or some other form of pathological messiness. But whatever the reasons, I always just felt like neatness was genetically impossible for me to achieve.

      So I'm not actually sure that I am as messy as I think I am, if that makes any sense... I just have a terrible fear of becoming my mother! I also never learned any systems or habits for keeping things neat, so it's a struggle. Seriously, every once in a while I'll have an amazing revelation like: "Wait... so if you put your shoes away in the closet then you'll always know where to find them! Why didn't I think of that before?" Or... "You mean curtains can be taken down and washed? Who knew?"

      But reading your comment also made me realize a very counter intuitive thing about myself and projects like painting. I'm afraid that if I start out on a project like that, I'll end up making things messier than they were to begin with. Because while I am really good at diving into things and getting everything torn apart, I totally suck an finishing projects, and I'm especially bad about cleaning up afterwards!

      So my house tends to fill up with boxes full of tools, scraps of supplies and whatnot leftover from various projects... which makes it really hard to find what I need. "Let's see... last time I used the hammer was when I fixed the curtain rod, so it's probably still in the box of crap leftover from that project... or wait, maybe it's out in the garage with the stuff from when I worked on the gutters..."

      I think maybe that's why I've always turned to things like music or digital photography for a creative outlet - there's minimal "stuff" associated with it, so there are fewer opportunities for leaving a trail of destruction in my wake!

      Perhaps I just need to figure out a better way to push through the finishing & cleaning phases of a project so that it wouldn't feel like each one just adds another pile of stuff to be dealt with later. How do you deal with that sort of thing? I'm always left with extra supplies or specialized tools and figuring out where to put them all feels like a bigger chore than the project itself was!

      And - I totally don't think it's strange that you'd prefer to sweep the deck over sweeping the kitchen. I'll gladly spend hours hauling bags of dirt and manure around for the garden, but can't seem to manage carrying the laundry basket from the living room into the bedroom. And your desire to do physical things as much as you could while you still could also makes perfect sense. Failing eyesight runs in my family so I'm pretty sure that if I'm fortunate enough to live a good long life, I won't be seeing much near the end. So whenever I'm outside looking at nature I try to drink it all in as much as possible because I know being able to see it all is a fleeting gift.

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    2. Yes, those darn leaves. You think you drag them in on your shoes you should see what tires do. I get so tired of moping the floor by the door I will give up for a few days. Then I have the little ones stop by and their feet get dirty which is embarrassing so out comes the mop and I do really well at it for a few days..... sigh

      Our upbringing wasn't much different. The years I lived with my mother she was such a slob I couldn't stand to live there unless I cleaned up. I would go away for a weekend only to come home Sunday night and not be able to walk through a room without either stepping on things or having to kick them out of the way.. My grandfather was the perfectionist neat-freak to an extreme (I always thought that was why my mother rebelled and never cleaned). Even as an adult if I knew he would be visiting, say Christmas, I would go through the house for days and bark at my kids wanting one visit with out him nit picking at something I missed. I made my boys miserable and he always found things we overlooked.

      Anyway, when my mother died I went back into her house and couldn't believe the mess. She had boxes stacked several feet deep and to the ceiling, so many dishes that they filled the cupboards, countertop, the pantry and then sat on the floor all around the kitchen. My heart broke for my siblings that had to live in that, but a couple have developed her habits and their homes are stacked to the gills.

      So I try to walk a line between the two extreme examples I had growing up. For example, with my mother you could never find a tabletop, my grandfather insisted nothing be set on tables. I fall somewhere in the middle. I don't do "tablescapes" too much work, but I want my home to look lived in and welcoming so candles, books, etc find their way to those flat surfaces. Oh, and my laundry is currently way behind yet the deck is free of leaves from the maple tree. :-)

      Now about cleaning up after painting, I don't do a lot of that. :-) If I am using a brush and know I need to touch up or finish a section I'll wrap the brush up in a plastic bag. Why wash it out every time I need to stop when that wastes water and pollutes the water entering the sewage. :-) As for rollers, when I'm done I just let them dry out and then toss them out. Again it's because I'm lazy but also because it takes an enormous amount of water to get a roller completely clean. Only when the project is done to I wash up my brushes. Oh, and the bag trick works on rollers too but doesn't keep them protected as long as a brush because some air always gets in no matter how careful you are about sealing it around the roller parts.

      As for losing eyesight, I have that issue too. With me it's the nature of my disability. As my muscles deteriorate so too do the muscles of the eyes. So I soak up all that I see, read as many books as I can and have art around me because I fear one day I won't have vision. I hope we are both worrying for nothing.

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    3. Ha! Well, your mother does sound a lot like mine, at least as far as messiness is concerned. Before my parents divorced our basement was a big "rec room" that housed a pool table, a stereo, furniture, etc. There was a fire place down there, and I remember cozy nights in front of the fire, and my parents having parties down there.

      After the divorce, all socializing ceased, and the one time "rec room" became a dumping ground. Within a few years it was literally filled with boxes 3-4 feet high. I remember my friends and I building a "village" down there. We cleared space for "streets" and each of us had a little "storefront" made from piles of boxes. I remember the boxes being so tall that you couldn't see over them when you were in the "streets." I still can't quite figure out where so much stuff came from in only a few years.

      It didn't get cleaned up until I decided that I wanted to move in down there and took it upon myself to build shelves, move things into the storage room, and force my mother to make some decisions. She was NOT happy about the process, but I was very happy to have my own space away from everything.

      Anyhow, thanks for the tips about paint brushes. I knew you could do that with a plastic bag, but I didn't realize that it would work for more than an hour or two. And if an eco-warrior like you thinks it's better to toss a roller than to try to clean it... well who am I to argue! :-)

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    4. At least you found a way to get your mother to clean out her hoard, my mother left it for the kids to do after she died.

      As for tossing out rollers, I don't use many of them preferring brushes. So far we've used a total of 4 rollers on the house and I expect I'll probably need another for the shed so it's not much to send off to the landfill. I don't toss them until the paint on them is really dry, not sure if it makes that much difference though. And yes, I'd rather send 5 rollers to the landfill than all that paint down the drain along with gallons of water per roller.

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    5. Well, I think it helped that she moved across the country twice before she died. Still, there was one room that had stacks of boxes piled from floor to ceiling. Half a dozen of them contained "personal stuff" and the estate sale company sent them to my brother, who STILL HASN'T OPENED THEM! That was a year and a half ago! About a year ago he said he would send them to me so I could go through them, but he hasn't managed to find the time... Sigh. Anyhow, maybe some day I'll find out what's in them!

      I'm not a big fan of rollers either... not that I have a lot of experience. They just seem to splatter paint everywhere.

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  14. I usually have the "Who has the time" thought about people who are very well dressed and well groomed. But then, like you, I remember that that is just something I don't prioritize right now, which is ok. It's so interesting to see how my priorities have shifted over the years...

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    1. Ha! Fashion is another one of those things that I've always felt I was just genetically incapable of... funny, it never occurred to me that it might actually take time to achieve those sorts of "looks." I guess I always just assumed that people were born looking put together or something! :-)

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  15. 'I also never learned any systems or habits for keeping things neat, so it's a struggle.' This is it for me! My Mum just to 'just do things' and I don't know how to do that! Because.....well, I'll need to do that first and then I'll probably have to go get something from there and then that will need cleaning but I was going to sort it before I started cleaning it and then I'll run out of time and and and......I'm exhausted before I start! But I, too, have had some revelations!!!!! I have discovered the beauty of a shiny sink before I go to bed. I don't always achieve it but the ease of my day when I do. It is easier to have breakfast if all the dishes I need are clean. It is easier to put the shopping away if I have clean surfaces to put the bags onto, instead of stacking them at the kitchen entrance, ready to trip over every few minutes! And it is just easier to be IN my kitchen when I'm not looking at crap! However, I'm not sure where the vaccuum is. I just keep my head held high! lol

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    1. Yes, yes yesss!! It's the agonizing over the details of everything that's half of the problem for me! And it does feel like one thing inevitable leads to seven zillion more... so I start to feel paralyzed before I even begin!

      I do agree that life is easier with a clean kitchen though. It's just hard for me to maintain it on a regular basis, so I tend to swing wildly from clean to messy and back again. Sigh.

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  16. You raise some interesting points. We all have 24 hours each day, and I do think a lot of it comes down to how we choose to spend most of that time. I'm always shocked when people question how I find the time to cook and bake so much. I just do. I enjoy it, so like you said, I don't really think about it taking time. But then are plenty of things that other people do regularly that I can never seem to find the time for. I think it comes down largely to choices, priorities, and what makes different people tick.

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    1. It's amazing how fun things don't feel like they "take time" isn't it? I was whining to CatMan the other day about how I hadn't done anything "productive" in weeks. He laughed and reminded me how I'd worked on the gutters, and the deck, and built several kitty houses, and packed up the garden, and cooked...

      Then he said something interesting "I think what you really mean is that you haven't done anything that you didn't want to." Hmmm... now that's an interesting way to look at it!

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